1. Go kayaking.
2. Watch more sunsets.
3. Practice writing a novel.
4. Visit Chloe and Joe more.
5. Speak lovingly to myself and others.
6. Get rid of the shoes and clothes I never wear.
7. Plan a trip to Kentucky with the Swans and O’Loughlins.
8. Do more of what I want and less of what I think I should do.
9. Paint the kitchen ceiling. Actually all the ceilings need to be painted.
10. Speaking of the kitchen … cabinets, counters, backsplash and floor. Maybe.
11. Really, though, work on those books for the kids. This is fun, not a chore.
12. Spend more hours laughing with Julie, enjoying her beautiful view.
13. Spend more time near the water … ocean, lake, pond, whatever.
14. Really explore and utilize my medical marijuana card.
15. Go for more walks … with people and dogs.
16. Read as many books as I feel like reading.
17. Go back to the Keys. Get in the water.
18. Get a new driver and play more golf.
19. Find some jeans I really like.
20. Enjoy food.
21. Just live.
I am a one on the enneagram. A recovering perfectionist. A pathological self-improver. I say all the time that I don’t live from a place of should, but a good part of the time I do. And yet, today, on this last day of one of the most challenging years of my life, I’m vowing with full confidence to worry less and live more. To let go of expectations and allow the universe to surprise and delight me. To distance myself from either/or and embrace both/and. To fully feel all the happy and the sad because both are evidence of loving deeply. To choose myself and others. To embrace the moment and look forward to the future. To love our home while still dreaming of one in the south. To be thankful every time my sweet nurses get the IV in on the first try and to smile and accept their apologies every time they don’t. To buy bigger jeans while still hoping that someday my smaller ones will fit. Except the 2s — I’m not delusional.
Happy New Year’s Eve, my friends. I hope this last day of 2020 finds you healthy. I hope if your heart has been broken, it is healing and growing stronger at the cracks. I hope if you lost someone you love that you can pour that love into someone new or back into yourself, because you deserve to be loved as much as you love. I hope 2021 brings more peace, understanding, kindness, and inclusion.
May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you be free from suffering.
May your life unfold with ease.